On “A life not lived?” by Jacqueline S. of [the crone] blog — Who but You? singleton series

What else do I have to offer, but stories? I live alone. I opted out of having children. Whenever I ponder Death – rarely from a place of darkness; more often from a pragmatic, matter-of-fact heart – my hope is that I’ll leave the world a plethora of poetry, photos, memories of my heartfelt awkwardness, and yes, stories.

How do you share who you are, take in others; how do you express and connect? I pushed my limits this year – still feeling deeply blue after long stretches of online exchanges in lieu of actual human company, yet feeling cranky and depleted after too much time spent with high-energy, well-meaning but wildly talkative folks.

Who but you knows how to balance the energy of good people with the replenishment of solitude?

Who but you feels a story coming on and decides when and how it must be told – in a text, through speaking, via the arts, by way of carrier pigeon?

Yet, seemingly, not all women and men who live alone strive for such a balance, nor do they share their stories.

Singletons who appear to isolate themselves: are they living the Living Alone stereotype of being antisocial, depressed, ill, hoarding? Or are they content, quiet?

And when their lives are over, what then? “…how difficult it is to say ‘goodbye’ to these elusive people, often the most shy and reclusive members of our society, when we’ve never really known how to say ‘hello’.”

Please join me in celebrating our own vulnerable sharing of stories as you read Jacqueline’s thoughts on singleton isolation in the U.K.: here. As a writer, mother, and wife, she’s looking out for singletons in the sweetest, most profound way. Thank you, Jacqueline. (I also invite you to visit the main page of her blog, the crone and enjoy her words across many topics. Plus, the photo of her during her punk years is fucking golden!  http://thecrone.co.uk/ if the above links do not work.)

Warmth, light and love to all readers and writers and balance strivers this time of year and always.

You are not alone,
–Kim

P.S. I apologize if you received a ghost post yesterday in the Feed or by e-mail. I am still learning how to share others’ blog writings, and I deleted my first attempt.

Pauper-funeral-500x349
Photo credit: http://www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/category/pauper-funerals/

This is part of the Who but You? project, a singlehood series with an initial focus on people who live alone. The project is gradually expanding to also include stories of single (i.e., not married) humans in a variety of living situations. Who but you knows how to be in this world?

Join the Who but You? project:  e-mail your story, prose, poetry, art and/or photos about singlehood and/or living alone to powerofpaperzines@gmail.com for consideration. All ages, all countries/cities, all singlehood living situations – from co-housing to living alone, single parent to child free.

For more information:  https://whobutyouproject.wordpress.com/who-but-you-series/.

❤ Thank you for taking the time to view the works of independent storytellers, poets and artists. ❤

5 Comments Add yours

  1. I wonder sometimes who I’d be if I’d have followed my “natural” path and stayed single. I love my wife, more than life itself, and my kids, again, more than life itself. But I’m a loner by nature, and still relish any shreds of alone time I can carve out. I believe I’d have been fine, still traveled, still gone to see live music, still been an avid kayaker, still loved photography. It’s my nature to be solo, and the life I’ve chosen gets to be over stimulating to me at times. I never thought I needed a love or a family to be fulfilled, and I still don’t think it’s essential to loving life. I just happened to meet her, love her, make a life with her, but because I chose to, not necessarily because I needed to. Does that make any sense? Feel like I got a bit off the rails there. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      You’re making perfect sense. Although I never had kids, I teach students with special needs and I was married many years ago. Man, did I need some alone time to recharge and I was lucky to be with someone who understood. Parenthood must be a whole other layer on the solitude-challenged cake. I can only imagine that, especially for more introverted/loner spouses and parents, the work lies in, well, in what you’re already doing: loving yourself (carving out alone time) while also loving your family. Thank you for your reflection. I’m glad you’re sharing your stories. I always enjoy your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks! I really appreciate you reading mine, and I enjoy reading yours and your comments. 🙂
        Yes, it’s challenging to need the time to myself more than I get it. But life’s full of trade-offs I guess. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. anotherclosethippie says:

    I really appreciate how raw and honest your writing is. I really enjoy reading your posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      Thank you, kindly! I am flattered — gosh. Your blog is one of my favorites.

      Liked by 1 person

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