Singing the praises of singlehood (softly, not too loudly)

Image credit: Mike LHeureux on Pinterest.
Image credit:  Mike LHeureux, Pinterest.

Nearing the end of Don Quixote, I’m realizing that I’m avoiding the book.  One night I busy myself with an extensive tea ritual before journaling.  Another night I dive into the newspaper after taking longer than usual making my lunch for the next workday.  I am, of course, preparing for the break-up.  I will miss my boyfriends, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, so much.

Singing the praises of singlehood (softly, not too loudly).

Much gratitude and love for the folks who were concerned about the theme of Sadness in my recent posts.  All is well, though the summer challenged me to dig into my heart’s resources as local, national and world news hit me hard (as it did all of you) and as plans toward making a career change fell through.  I’m still balancing health with work, a perpetual game.  There was also the matter of a beloved buddy moving away – my third sibling-like friend to do so in the past two years.  And I’m entering into my sixth year living alone and my second year boycotting dating.  Still learning, still growing.

Singing the praises of singlehood (softly, not too loudly).

Boycotting dating?  The other psyche-shifting events in that paragraph are important, sure.  I’m still figuring out how else I may be of service in this beautiful but very broken world, while also maintaining my health.  I will continue to adore my friends near and far.

But, not dating – at all?  This is not to say that men (and women) have been clamoring to spend sexy time with me.  No.  Not at all.  Some days, I feel as desirable as a squinty eyed mole.  On good days, especially after a long hike or bike ride, I look in the mirror and I see a 44-year-old woman with shining eyes and glowing skin.  But it’s those times when I just feel giddy to be alive in this world and the farthest thing from my mind is a compatible partner.

Singing the praises of singlehood (softly, not too loudly).

I can’t relate to singles who, even after one or two marriages, are actively looking for another full-on life partner.  I’m guarding my living alone status and my time and energy as a mother protects her egg-filled nest.

Yet I’m not about to bellow my no-relationship pride from rooftops.  While I love my life and myself dearly, somewhere in the caverns of my heart lies a bit of hope that I’ll find a special dude.  I do not know when.  I don’t care when.  I’m in no hurry.

Singing the praises of singlehood (softly, not too loudly).

I still have 35 pages to go and with 940 total, the book mirrors my experience with work, friendships, and sexual relationships:  some stories need time to be told and endings may be blessings.  After Don Quixote, I’ll keep learning and growing in this career or in others.  Loneliness will come and go, my energy will rise and crash, and new friends will appear while others move on to follow their goals.

Who knows how else I’ll – we’ll — be challenged to tap into our own resources to survive?

Who knows what additional gifts we will be given to encourage us to thrive?

As always, thank you so much for reading.  If you have a moment, I’d love hearing how you’re doing via comments or private messages.

Here’s to sadness, to growth, and to being the most genuine you you can be,
Posted 9/13/15, revised 9/15/15

ka, /c/ 2015

Me, with my real (no joke) boyfriend: nature. Photo credit: MCH, 2015.
Me, with my real (no joke) boyfriend:  nature.
Photo credit:  MCH, 2015.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Absolutely BRILLIANT! Kim, you just expressed so many feelings I think we all can and need to identify with. I love the pictures, as well. You have inspired me to write about some of the highlights of my dating life…the guy that graduated from clown college comes to mind…single is good. You can’t go wrong with the classics or nature. Talk about sexy time…that’s it right there. You are the best! Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      Hi! Your comment brightened my morning. Thank YOU! No pressure, but I can barely wait to read your dating stories. Clown school!? Oh, these WILL be good tales.


  2. Stacy Moore says:

    I love your refrain–not a military anthem, but a song to find yourself humming contentedly on a sunny morning.

    I’m sorry that your plans toward a career change didn’t work out. That’s always a hard one to rebound from, I find, especially with health challenges in the mix. Prioritizing the way we spend energy becomes so hugely important, and where do we spend more energy than in our work? Best wishes for finding a new path, and with the perpetual balancing act.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      I appreciate your kind and encouraging words very much. Thank you, Stacy!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate, I love being alone, too. Except for security reasons, or I’ve just watched a horror film, or when I’m bedridden sick.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      Yes! I don’t know how I would have managed through sad and sick times without my friends and neighbors.


  4. Jean R says:

    I’ve often found myself avoiding reading the last chapter of a book…and now I know why. I’m dreading the break up. Thank you for that train of thought!

    Life passes by so quickly. Enjoy the journey along the way….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kim says:

      Thank you kindly, Jean!


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